AHHHH.

I wish school would just be over already!! It feels like the days are going to drag on and on and on knowing that were so so close to finishing. I am really stressing over finals. Life definatly is not as simple as it used to be.

dwindle.

As the year comes down to the wire i am more stressed than ever before. We did a final review math packet today and i seriously didnt know anything on the packet at all. its amazing how much you can forgot in so little time. i seriously wish we didnt have finals. but i am so ready to be done being a freshman and enjoy summer 09:)

alright.

Sorry for the inconsisity of blogs. i was reading through some of my old posts and i realized that a blog actually does help. sure everyone knows its you thats writing but that really doesnt matter. i forgot how good it felt to actually release things that i'm to afraid to say out loud. my last post was about mini town and i realized how much i love mini town and how much i miss it. since mini town i have gotten together with all the counselers like 3 times and i love having them to go to, but i havent gotten together with the kids that know me best since mini town and it really made my heart ache. I love walking around and hearing my name and look and see mini town kids and they actually remember me, it makes me feel so good about myself to know that i have made an impact in someones elses life.

MINITOWN!

I am seriously in love with mini town. It is the greatest thing that has ever happend to me, and it has made me who i am today! I am so blessed to have met so many amazing people who are destined to change the world one day. The students who all went are some of the strongest kids i know, and i seriously idolize them for being as strong as they are. They definitly made my first counseling experience so memorable, and I love watching all of the kids grow as one big family and let their guards down. I want to go back and be with everyone again. Go back to the place where i feel safe, the place where I am always accepted, and the place that I love.

:(

My dad saved my life multiple times. He used to be my biggest hero and now he doesnt even say one word to me. Did i do something wrong? Am i not good enough to be your daughter? Are you embarassed of me? I just want to know. But now i dont think i ever will.

i am so excited.

I was at training for mini town the other day and it was so good. I walked into school not knowing who any of the other counselers were besides a couple but by the end of the day it was like we were already one giant family. I am so looking forward to camp i cant wait to let out some of the things i have been holding in for a while.

yesterday.

Yesterday i was listening to scars by papa roach and it got me thinking a lot. That song is all about how the past will always be with you because you have scars that remind you that the past actually did happen. Whether the scars be physical or mental/emotional. There is a quote that says, "focus on the present and not the past" but the truth is the past will always be there. no matter how hard you try to forget about it or that it ever happened. You will always have a reminder that the past actually did happen and you cant always focus on the present because that past makes the present.