alright.

Sorry for the inconsisity of blogs. i was reading through some of my old posts and i realized that a blog actually does help. sure everyone knows its you thats writing but that really doesnt matter. i forgot how good it felt to actually release things that i'm to afraid to say out loud. my last post was about mini town and i realized how much i love mini town and how much i miss it. since mini town i have gotten together with all the counselers like 3 times and i love having them to go to, but i havent gotten together with the kids that know me best since mini town and it really made my heart ache. I love walking around and hearing my name and look and see mini town kids and they actually remember me, it makes me feel so good about myself to know that i have made an impact in someones elses life.

MINITOWN!

I am seriously in love with mini town. It is the greatest thing that has ever happend to me, and it has made me who i am today! I am so blessed to have met so many amazing people who are destined to change the world one day. The students who all went are some of the strongest kids i know, and i seriously idolize them for being as strong as they are. They definitly made my first counseling experience so memorable, and I love watching all of the kids grow as one big family and let their guards down. I want to go back and be with everyone again. Go back to the place where i feel safe, the place where I am always accepted, and the place that I love.

:(

My dad saved my life multiple times. He used to be my biggest hero and now he doesnt even say one word to me. Did i do something wrong? Am i not good enough to be your daughter? Are you embarassed of me? I just want to know. But now i dont think i ever will.

i am so excited.

I was at training for mini town the other day and it was so good. I walked into school not knowing who any of the other counselers were besides a couple but by the end of the day it was like we were already one giant family. I am so looking forward to camp i cant wait to let out some of the things i have been holding in for a while.

yesterday.

Yesterday i was listening to scars by papa roach and it got me thinking a lot. That song is all about how the past will always be with you because you have scars that remind you that the past actually did happen. Whether the scars be physical or mental/emotional. There is a quote that says, "focus on the present and not the past" but the truth is the past will always be there. no matter how hard you try to forget about it or that it ever happened. You will always have a reminder that the past actually did happen and you cant always focus on the present because that past makes the present.

worst.

Valentines day ever! i hate that holiday. I wish things could go back to how they used to be in elementenary school where we all made cute boxes and went around the whole school dropping valentines and candy off. And everyone felt special and didnt have to worry about anything. Times were so much easier back than, than they are now.

soaring, flying

Today i registered for next years classes. Freshman year flew by so quickly its like it never even began. As i was choosing my classes it got me thinking. I mean those are really the classes that i would be taking next year, no go backs. As excited as i am to be a sophomore i did not think that it would come so soon. I put a lot of thought into my classes and I hope that i made the right choice. It was also very sad to register because i registered with my newest best friend. I just met her this year and she told me that she is moving to California, so she wont be there with me next year. I never thought that one of my best friends would be moving especially since i just met her. I know I am in her same situation but she is actually leaving..for sure. I just wish that this year would go by so much slower than it is because it is going by in the blink of an eye.