hi dad.

"We might as well be strangers, Be strangers, For all I know of you now." I just want to let you know that i'm not coming with you on friday. i know that you will be upset with me but when have you ever been a dad to me? i know you'll say you dont care that i'm not going and that its my choice but honestly i dont feel comfortable. Its like going with a complete stranger somewhere because honestly thats what you feel like to me a stranger.

Goodbye Linds,

I feel like it was just yesterday when we were messaging on myspace. Right then and there i knew that we were going to be best friends. I remember the first time we ever saw each other we didnt even recognize each other like we were complete strangers and now we cant go a second without being around each other. Your the only person that would stay stuck in a bathroom with me for 30 minutes because we are afraid a cat will attack us. I wish so badly that we didnt wait so long to become friends because now your leaving and i dont think that i am equipped to handle it. Just like that in the blink of an eye your packing up and leaving. I know i had plenty of warning so that i could prepare myself for our last goodbye but honestly time flew by to fast for me to even realize you were leaving. And now all of the sudden it hit me like a bus. Your never coming back. Your going to be gone forever. Your completely starting your life over and that takes so much strength. I know that you will do fine in California though. I will just have to get used to the fact that i cant just text you and say im coming over because you'll be miles and miles away. You've been there for me all year and you mean so much to me. I think that your date was changed because God knew that i wouldnt be here to say goodbye. And now by some miracle we will both be going to lake havasu the weekend before you move and i couldnt be more ecstatic. I'll always remember you. and you'll always be my best friend.

My dad the superhero?

My dad saved my life. He saved my life more than once in fact. He used to be my biggest hero. The one i used to look up to. People used to always ask me if i was a mommys girl or a daddys girl. Without any second thoughts at all my answer would be daddys girl. And just like that in the blink of an eye he didnt even look at me anymore. Every weekend when he comes by to get my brother its like he totally forgets he even has a daughter. Whats the point in even smiling or saying hi to him when he doesnt even know that i exsist. I wish so badly that i could get the guts to walk up to him tap him and on the shoulder and say, "daddy do you even love me?" I want to ask him what i did wrong to make him hate me so much. Or even if i did something wrong. Without my dad i wouldnt be here today. If i knew he would hate me i wouldnt have wanted him to save me. I remember that after my parents got divorced i would hang out with my dad every single weekend. And now we barely even make eye contact. When my phone rings and on the caller id it says, 'Daddy Sabori' i am so hoping that maybe he is just calling to say hi kelsey how are you doing? but no the only reason he calls me is when no one else in my entire family answeres their phone. My dad wants to do something for fathers day but honestly i dont want to go. its just not right. he doesnt deserve it so heres to you dad. thanks for showing me what not to do.

AHHHH.

I wish school would just be over already!! It feels like the days are going to drag on and on and on knowing that were so so close to finishing. I am really stressing over finals. Life definatly is not as simple as it used to be.

dwindle.

As the year comes down to the wire i am more stressed than ever before. We did a final review math packet today and i seriously didnt know anything on the packet at all. its amazing how much you can forgot in so little time. i seriously wish we didnt have finals. but i am so ready to be done being a freshman and enjoy summer 09:)

alright.

Sorry for the inconsisity of blogs. i was reading through some of my old posts and i realized that a blog actually does help. sure everyone knows its you thats writing but that really doesnt matter. i forgot how good it felt to actually release things that i'm to afraid to say out loud. my last post was about mini town and i realized how much i love mini town and how much i miss it. since mini town i have gotten together with all the counselers like 3 times and i love having them to go to, but i havent gotten together with the kids that know me best since mini town and it really made my heart ache. I love walking around and hearing my name and look and see mini town kids and they actually remember me, it makes me feel so good about myself to know that i have made an impact in someones elses life.

MINITOWN!

I am seriously in love with mini town. It is the greatest thing that has ever happend to me, and it has made me who i am today! I am so blessed to have met so many amazing people who are destined to change the world one day. The students who all went are some of the strongest kids i know, and i seriously idolize them for being as strong as they are. They definitly made my first counseling experience so memorable, and I love watching all of the kids grow as one big family and let their guards down. I want to go back and be with everyone again. Go back to the place where i feel safe, the place where I am always accepted, and the place that I love.