:(

My dad saved my life multiple times. He used to be my biggest hero and now he doesnt even say one word to me. Did i do something wrong? Am i not good enough to be your daughter? Are you embarassed of me? I just want to know. But now i dont think i ever will.

i am so excited.

I was at training for mini town the other day and it was so good. I walked into school not knowing who any of the other counselers were besides a couple but by the end of the day it was like we were already one giant family. I am so looking forward to camp i cant wait to let out some of the things i have been holding in for a while.

yesterday.

Yesterday i was listening to scars by papa roach and it got me thinking a lot. That song is all about how the past will always be with you because you have scars that remind you that the past actually did happen. Whether the scars be physical or mental/emotional. There is a quote that says, "focus on the present and not the past" but the truth is the past will always be there. no matter how hard you try to forget about it or that it ever happened. You will always have a reminder that the past actually did happen and you cant always focus on the present because that past makes the present.

worst.

Valentines day ever! i hate that holiday. I wish things could go back to how they used to be in elementenary school where we all made cute boxes and went around the whole school dropping valentines and candy off. And everyone felt special and didnt have to worry about anything. Times were so much easier back than, than they are now.

soaring, flying

Today i registered for next years classes. Freshman year flew by so quickly its like it never even began. As i was choosing my classes it got me thinking. I mean those are really the classes that i would be taking next year, no go backs. As excited as i am to be a sophomore i did not think that it would come so soon. I put a lot of thought into my classes and I hope that i made the right choice. It was also very sad to register because i registered with my newest best friend. I just met her this year and she told me that she is moving to California, so she wont be there with me next year. I never thought that one of my best friends would be moving especially since i just met her. I know I am in her same situation but she is actually leaving..for sure. I just wish that this year would go by so much slower than it is because it is going by in the blink of an eye.

HI 2009.

I am so glad that 2008 is over. It seemed like one of the longest years ever. Fortunatly for me i spent my new years even laying on the couch with a blanket completely unable to talk or breathe and my head felt like it was going to burst at any given moment. Being sick sucks. I am really hoping for a fresh start in 2009, to throw away all the bad things in my life and focus on all of the good. So far its going pretty well i hope..

Here i am

In California. Good news my family thinks i am super funny, which is so good on my half mainly because it obviously proves that i can be funny. Although i am freakin weird its good to know people still love me. I got to open a present today from my oldest brother. I think fate came into play because we randomly reached in a bag and i pulled out a purse that matches my personality in every single way.
Spill Canvas captures their words so good i put, "the tide" on repeat nearly the whole trip here. The most wonderful day on earth is tomorrow and i am so excited. Me and my cousin are making a cake that says, 'happy birthday Jesus' ah the beauty of having family that is awesome. In other news i am an embarrasment to life right now. I have scratches all up the side of my face, scratches on my legs, and i havent worn make up since the last day of school(or straightened my hair)Hooray for long hair again.