smile.

even the littlest thing made my entire dau
"i've been thinking about you lately and i decided i would text you and see how you were doing"
<3

crazy dreams.

Last night i had the greatest dream ever. Things were perfect in it. And than i woke up and realized that i was back to reality that when i walked outta my room i wouldnt be on a tour bus i'd just be in my house. I hate when you have a dream thats so perfect you never want to wake up and you just want to keep dreaming and dreaming.

tell me why

why does your name have to be so damn common?

mom.

So today me and my mom had a talk for a good hour. It wasnt just like a normal 'how are you' talk. We talked about real things about my life, about my family everything. And during it she told me the biggest secret that my family has right now and she trusted me with it. We also talked about my brother. I told her that life would be so much simpilier for everyone if Landon was a girl. I said that we'd get along better and have the BFF bond that i have always wanted. And now that i am thinking about i wouldnt trade Landon for the world. Even though we constantly are fighting i know that one day in the future we will have the BFF bond that I want. We als0 talked about how my mom had a miscarrage. She had it after she had my sister and than 7 years later i came along. I strongly believe that i was the miscarriage and after a good 7 years i reformed and came into the earth. I feel like i was brought here to make my mom happy because 7 years after i was born my parents got divorced. I feel like these 7 year incriments mean something. Am i crazy?

thoughts on the world

If we lived in a perfect world things would be so much easier than they are now. I would have the guts to tell the guy i have been crushing on forever how i feel without him thinking i was an idiot, My parents would never have gotten divorced and my life would be so much more simple than it is now, My brother and I would get along for once in our lives, I would still have the best friends that I had when i was in kindergarden, There would be no homeless people or starving people, The war would have never begun and peace would take over, There would be no racism and everyone would just be happy.

hi dad.

"We might as well be strangers, Be strangers, For all I know of you now." I just want to let you know that i'm not coming with you on friday. i know that you will be upset with me but when have you ever been a dad to me? i know you'll say you dont care that i'm not going and that its my choice but honestly i dont feel comfortable. Its like going with a complete stranger somewhere because honestly thats what you feel like to me a stranger.

Goodbye Linds,

I feel like it was just yesterday when we were messaging on myspace. Right then and there i knew that we were going to be best friends. I remember the first time we ever saw each other we didnt even recognize each other like we were complete strangers and now we cant go a second without being around each other. Your the only person that would stay stuck in a bathroom with me for 30 minutes because we are afraid a cat will attack us. I wish so badly that we didnt wait so long to become friends because now your leaving and i dont think that i am equipped to handle it. Just like that in the blink of an eye your packing up and leaving. I know i had plenty of warning so that i could prepare myself for our last goodbye but honestly time flew by to fast for me to even realize you were leaving. And now all of the sudden it hit me like a bus. Your never coming back. Your going to be gone forever. Your completely starting your life over and that takes so much strength. I know that you will do fine in California though. I will just have to get used to the fact that i cant just text you and say im coming over because you'll be miles and miles away. You've been there for me all year and you mean so much to me. I think that your date was changed because God knew that i wouldnt be here to say goodbye. And now by some miracle we will both be going to lake havasu the weekend before you move and i couldnt be more ecstatic. I'll always remember you. and you'll always be my best friend.

My dad the superhero?

My dad saved my life. He saved my life more than once in fact. He used to be my biggest hero. The one i used to look up to. People used to always ask me if i was a mommys girl or a daddys girl. Without any second thoughts at all my answer would be daddys girl. And just like that in the blink of an eye he didnt even look at me anymore. Every weekend when he comes by to get my brother its like he totally forgets he even has a daughter. Whats the point in even smiling or saying hi to him when he doesnt even know that i exsist. I wish so badly that i could get the guts to walk up to him tap him and on the shoulder and say, "daddy do you even love me?" I want to ask him what i did wrong to make him hate me so much. Or even if i did something wrong. Without my dad i wouldnt be here today. If i knew he would hate me i wouldnt have wanted him to save me. I remember that after my parents got divorced i would hang out with my dad every single weekend. And now we barely even make eye contact. When my phone rings and on the caller id it says, 'Daddy Sabori' i am so hoping that maybe he is just calling to say hi kelsey how are you doing? but no the only reason he calls me is when no one else in my entire family answeres their phone. My dad wants to do something for fathers day but honestly i dont want to go. its just not right. he doesnt deserve it so heres to you dad. thanks for showing me what not to do.